I fell on my head

I had my own landscape company for a while, back in 2010.  I was laid off from one company and I needed to make some extra cash.  So I started up my own gig.

I was doing quite well in getting jobs and had a steady flow of income coming in.  As the season neared an end I was contracted to do some fall clean ups and gutter cleaning for my parents neighbors.  While I was there, I figured I would take care of my folks house as well.  It was a simple job and I didn’t think it would take more than a few hours at most.

I had two younger guys working for me, Craig and Mark.  I sent them next door to start collecting leaves while I set up a ladder to get onto my parents roof.  They have a two-story house and the ladder barely reached the gutter.

I was kind of in a rush and I did everything wrong.  I started up my backpack blower and hurried up the ladder.  Typically I would have a helper to spot me, so the ladder didn’t slip, but I was rushing.

I got to the top rung of the ladder and set a foot on the roof.  That’s when the ladder slipped.  I slowed myself by slamming my face into the roof as hard as I could and tried to grab on to the shingles with my fingernails. 

As I slipped over the edge I remember hitting my chin on the gutter and thinking “this is not good”.

When I came to Craig was above me shouting “DUDE, ARE YOU DEAD!?!”  over and over again.  I could smell gas and I could hear the blower running poorly nearby. 

I weakly said, “Get the blower”…

Craig responded, “Dude, you have been knocked out for 10 minuets.  And you crushed the blower when you landed on it.  You hit your head on the pavement and there is blood everyplace.  We need to get you to a hospital!”  You know things are pretty bad when the 18-year-old kid you hired is telling you that you need to get to the hospital.

I checked my limbs and started to get up.  I felt really dizzy and my head was throbbing.  But I walked over to the blower and started to reconnect the gas line.  Then I told Craig, “well, let’s get back to work”.

He kind of stood there looking at me as I spun around or maybe he spun around.  I’m not sure.  But it was not a “good” feeling.

He said, “Dude, you need to go to the hospital.  It sounded like a bomb dropped when you hit the pavement.” 

I told him not to worry and that I would be fine.  But, my head really hurt and there was a lot of blood.  Which I thought was kind of funny, so I started to text my friends about it.  I think I even took a few pictures.

After a while I said, “I think I need to sit down” and I walked to my van.  Craig said he was going to drive me to the hospital and it seemed like a pretty good idea.

As I sat in the van I heard my phone ringing, so I reached over and answered it.  “Hello, this is Todd”.  On the line was Craig, he was panicked and said, “Where the hell did you go??  You got in your van and drove off!!”  I looked around and realized I was indeed driving.  Which seemed rather odd, considering I don’t remember driving.

So I told him, “yup, it seems I am driving on Good Hope Road.  I think I’m on the way to the hospital”.  Which was, indeed, just a few blocks away.

He informed me that I shouldn’t be driving.  I said, “Well, I didn’t realize I was driving until my phone rang and now I am pulling into the ER parking lot.”  He called me an idiot and told him to finish up the job.

I parked the van and walked into the ER.  You know things are bad when people get out of the way at the ER.  You also know it’s bad when you walk up to the desk and the receptionist screams “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU!?!?” 

I calmly explained that I had fallen from a roof and landed on my head.  She asked how I got there and I said, “I think, I drove”.

The next thing I know I’m being tossed onto a gurney and wheeled into a room.  They put a neck brace on me and asked if I was in pain.  I calmly explained that I had fallen about 17 feet and landed on my head.  They looked at me like I was nuts.

Shortly thereafter a doctor came in and took a look at the cut on my head, then she asked what happened.  I calmly explained what happened and she sat there speechless with her mouth open.  Yet, another bad sign.

They stitched my head shut and stopped the bleeding – then wheeled me into the x-ray room and told me not to move. 

I said, “OK”.

Then I heard my phone ringing, so I sat up and walked across the room to answer it.  “Hello this is Todd”, I said. 

It was my Dad and he said, “well, there is a pool of blood and a pool of gas.  So I assume you didn’t finish the job.” While he kind of laughed.  Then he asked, “What hospital are you in?”…

In the meantime the doctor came back into the room and yelled “Mr. Stapleman!!  I told you not to move!  What are you doing??”  So I told my Pops I had to go.

The x-rays showed I had fallen off a roof and landed on my head.  There was no big surprise there, as I had fallen off a roof and landed on my head. 

The doctor explained that I was lucky. 

I calmly responded, “lucky?  How is it lucky to fall from a roof and land on my head??”  She actually laughed and said, “No, Mr. Stapleman, you are lucky to be alive”. 

Which is of course different…

I was told to sit quietly and not to move.  They had some more tests to run.  After a few seconds I was bored.  So I sat up and looked for my phone.  I took a few pics of me in the neck brace and posted them to Facebook.  Then I texted my girlfriend Mary who was quite concerned that I would be texting.  Considering that I had just fallen from a roof and landed on my head.

I was left in the room for sometime.  So I started to investigate the drawers and cabinets, because I was bored.  Plus I was caring on a few Facebook conversations regarding the accident.  Everyone was really concerned and wondering why I was posting pictures and such.  Eh, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Shortly thereafter the doctor came back and yelled at me again for not laying down.  And my Pops was with her.  She explained that I had a severe concussion, several dislocated (possibly broken) vertebrae, some ruptured discs, and a couple of broken ribs, 8 stitches on my head and several cuts and bruises.

I looked at her and said, “Seems about right”.

She informed my Dad and me that I was not to drive and that I was to take it easy for several days.  She gave me a prescription and told me to return in a day or two after the swelling went down for an MRI.  I thanked her and we left.

On the way out my Dad asked, “Are you ok to drive?”  And I said “no problem” so he handed me the keys to the van I drove home. 

It’s difficult to drive with a neck brace on…

On the way home I stopped and picked up the prescription.  Again, people looked at me kind of weird as I waited in line.

When I got home my dog was barking at me and freaking out.  So I let he outside and she just stared at me from the back yard with her head tilted to the side like, “WTF?”

My friend Beth texted me to remind me that there was a job fair that afternoon which I was supposed to go to.  I totally forgot about it for some reason.  But decided to go, as I needed a job.  I anticipated there would be doctor bills soon arriving.

I hopped into the shower and cleaned myself up.  I put the neck brace back on and put on a suit.  Then I kind of wrapped a tie around my neck brace and drove to the job fair.

On the way in everyone looked at me kind of weird.  I guess the neck brace and the fact that I was unable to walk in a straight line made me look a little weird.

But I went to the different booths and applied for several jobs, each representative asked what had happened.  I calmly explained that I had fallen from a roof and landed on my head. 

Most of them asked how long ago and I said “around 8:30 this morning”.  They looked a little apprehensive as the accepted the application and my resume.

Then I found a booth for a company that I had done some work for, and I went over to talk to them.  They recognized me and asked “what the HELL happened to you!!?”  I calmly explained what had happened.

They laughed and said “how would you like a job where you could only fall out of a chair??” 

I said, “That would be great!”…

So they gave me a job offer and I started my job as a landscape designer the following week.