Welcome to another exciting episode of “I Heard It Thru The Privacy Fence” Today we find out hero Odd in his back yard picking up dog poop and placing it into a bag that is held by his son and side kick Q. Let's tune in and see what is happening.

Q - "dad dude, this stinks"

Odd - "buddy, you are holding a bag of dog poop, it's supposed to stink"

Q - "well, I know. But can't we just leave it hear until it rains and washes it away?"

Odd - "I wish man, But it rained for days straight and it just made things worse. So we have to pick it up before it's too gross".

<Little Hicks voice from other side of fence>

Little Hick - "Hey Quinn, ya wanna take the dogs for a walk?"

Q - <dropping bag of poop> "Dad, can I go?!"

Odd - <perturbed> "DUDE, there are like two more scoops of poops. Pick up the bag".

Q - <picks up bag, rolling eyes> - "fine, but can I go after poop patrol?

Odd - <scooping poop into bag> "sure you can go. But you have to take along a bag in case one of the dogs poops.

Q - <disgusted> "What? I have to carry all of this poop on a walk??"

Odd - <laughing> “no dude, you have to take along an empty plastic bag in case the dog drops a deuce”

Little Hick - <appearing over the fence as she stands on a broken cement mixer> "yeh, my dad says we gotta take a bag too."

Odd - <smiling at the Q> "see dude? The Hicks bring along a bag when they walk their dog. So we should do the same."

Little Hick - <proudly interrupting> "my dad said the trick is to act like you are picking it up, but you don't really pick it up"

Odd - <scooping into bag> "Um, what did ya say honey? What do you mean by 'don't really pick it up?"

Little Hick - <rolling eyes> "well, you act like you are picking it up, but your actually right next to it. So if anyone sees you they think you were picking it up".

Q - <laughing> "And then you leave the turd there? <little hick nodding> COOL idea!"

Odd - <shaking head> "What?! NO! Not a cool idea, not cool. You have to pick up the shit!

Q - <laughing> “he said shit”

Odd - <holding large bag of poop> “Yes, you have to pick up the poop! What do you think I am doing?"

Little Hick - <shrugging> "who wants to walk around with a bag of shit in their hand?”

Odd - <getting perturbed> “No one WANTS to walk around with a bag of shit and stop saying shit!”.

Q - <giggling> “so is it called a shitbag??”.

Little Hick - <giggling> “I have a bag of shit!'.

Odd - <Perturbed> “knock it off you little shits!”

<giggles all around>

Odd - <setting down bag of poop> “ok, you guys can go, but you must pick up the turds. You have seen me do it, it is gross and I do not care for it. But you have to pick up the turds.”.

Little Hick - <matter of factual> - “my Dad said if I can find a stick and flick it into bushes or the road instead”

Q - <horrified and interested> - “You FLICK the poo? What kind of a stick? Why?”

Odd - <horrified and laughing> - “Oooh god no, you cant flick the turds with a stick! The home owner will get kind of mad if he see you playing turd hockey in their yard. No Flicking, just picking”

Little Hick - “so then we pick it up and toss it right into their garbage can?”

Odd - <perplexed> “whose garbage can”

Little Hick - <rolling eyes> “whoevers yard the dogs poop in!”.

Odd - <exacerbated> “NO, you do not walk up peoples driveways with a bag of shit and throw it in their garbage can! You carry it home with you and throw it away here”.

Q - <giggling> - “He said shit again.”

Little Hick - <hand on hip> “my Dad said if you gotta pick up the shit, cause someone sees you, then you can walk away and just toss the bag in the street”

Q - <giggling> “she said shit”

Odd - <dumbfounded> “WHAT THE HELL?!”

Little Hick - <frightened and confused> “What? So the poop is gone! “

Odd - <collective> “Honey, the poop is not gone when you toss it in the road. It is then a plastic bag with poop in the middle of the road.

Little Hick <smiling> “Yeah, my dad said then it's some one elses problem”

Odd - <arms outstretched with a WTF expression> “WHAT THE HELL?! NO!! Look, you can go on the walk only if you take a bag to pick up dog poop. If the dog poops, you use the bag to pick up the poop and then you bring it back here. You don't pretend or flick it, or toss it in a strangers can or in the street. You walk with a bag of shit until you get back here!

Little Hick <shrugging> “I don't wanna take the dogs for a walk any more”

Q <shrugging> “ok, wanna go play video games?”

Little Hick <laughing> “ok, the one where you shoot people?”

Odd - <frustrated> “god damnit, no! No violence!!”

Our scene ends with Odd lumbering a bag filled with dog shit towards his own garbage can. Our hero tosses a bag of dog shit into the can as he shakes his head in bewilderment....

Tune in next time for another exciting episode of “I Heard It Thru The Privacy Fence”